I noticed a man walking with his head down, smoking, it was like a mirror, I see anxious people, it’s like a mirror and I don’t like what I see, I don’t like to see struggle. My friend said to me “don’t let this path you’re embarking on lead to internalised ablism”, because some things we struggle with take time and some things we will have for ever and we just must learn how to live with them and others need to be okay with the fact some people are different and require support, they have special needs and requirements that need to be acknowledged. Sometimes these things aren’t diagnosed, in fact most of the time I would say because neglect happens, and people fear the consequences of sharing their inner thoughts. Embarrassment, probably a lot of childhood trauma from school, from home, parents, friends, other adults who said something, we internalise these things and they make us who we are as adults and we need to face that, to change. To change something, you must see it or be aware of it. If men are down, they need to help themselves, they need the support of others, people out there with a platform to say it’s okay to seek help, who are big burly men, smart intellectual types, successful business men, all men and for women to the same applies, all genders, we as a human race need to establish that it is okay to be unwell and to try and understand what is at the root of that. You can’t change the past. You can make yourself feel better, you can help others, but don’t do it at the expense of your own health. The path to enlightenment includes painful realisations that come from failure or loss, weather in your head or with a relationship, let that be the catalyst to start a journey of self-discovery, recovery, self-love, and rest. I turned all the notifications off on my phone, this allows me to focus on the tasks I want to do and try not to seek validation by responding to others requests right away, by trying to be something I’m not, a perfectly oiled and maintained machine that is invincible, no one is that, not on the inside and it effects your whole body! Listen to people, you will learn things about them but also things about yourself, everyone is a mirror. Journaling is seeming to help albeit in the form of a word document at the moment but yes getting your thoughts out on to paper is a good way of starting to understand patterns, pick things out, the way you feel, what is making you feel better, what is stopping you from doing the things you want to do, people, substances, not enough sleep and try hard to work on them things in a healthy way. Reading clarifies things, even if that is just some Instagram graphic or YouTube video, it’s a start. We don’t have to be fully okay to let others into our life’s but be careful who you do let in and who you give your energy to. When something you don’t want to happen happens it could feel like the world is ending, especially if it became a kind of routine thing, a regular thing, but we need to understand that things come and go, energy comes and goes and it changes constantly into some new kind of energy, it doesn’t disappear but evolves. Knowing that allows you to listen, sit with it, write about it and come up with a response that will help you to carry on.